wrapping it up

It’s just starting to settle in that I’m leaving. Our COS conference in September highlighted the fact that we would be leaving soon, but now I am leaving—a week from now. I’ve been wanting to write this entry for a while now, and talk about my feelings and plans and achievements, but I’m finding that all a bit overwhelming. I am happy—no, happy isn’t strong enough… I’m thrilled to be going home to my family, friends and little Murray, KY. But I also am sad to be leaving Petropavlovsk. This city has become my home, these friends have become my family. All the difficult times I’ve experienced living abroad have been less difficult, less trying, because of the amazing people I’ve met here.

These last few weeks have been full of dinner parties, movie screenings, and evenings out at cafes, as we try to suck every bit of enjoyment out of the last few days of nice weather. Two weeks ago, Niall invited all the city PCVs to his house along with their host families. The ten of us crammed into his living room and spent over three hours eating, drinking, talking and laughing. We told jokes in English and Russian, and laughed till it hurt when Katie’s host mom, a teacher as well, told us about the time she unknowingly flipped off her entire ninth grade class. The class was astonished and the host mom was confused. We were proud to provide her with vital education regarding “the bird” and its proper use. A week later we repeated the dinner, although this time we brought our counterparts. Niall treated us to tacos and cheesecake, and again we ate, drank and laughed until our bodies couldn’t take anymore. These are the things I’ll miss greatly.

This week at school I have been teaching by myself, something I have simultaneously dreaded and looked forward to for a while now. My CP is in Almaty for a conference with my replacement, leaving me to hold the 27 lessons while she is away. Being in charge of my own lesson plan and my own class has been rewarding and I feel like a real teacher. But it definitely isn’t easy. My CP rules the class with an iron fist, and I don’t. I don’t yell at the students or demean them when they act up or fail to do their homework. So, this week has been a trial in classroom management as if I were a new teacher in a new school (something I hope to do soon in the US). I know all the students and can call on them by name, and I know which students are most likely to cause problems. But I won’t yell at them. I’ve had considerable success simply by waiting for them to settle down before I speak. When they get out of control I stop talking. The success I’ve had is mainly from the students who take my side and tell their classmates to quiet down. Some of my weakest and most difficult students from last year have been the most vocal about keeping their class on track and on task. That makes me happy

With one week to go before I get on the train to Almaty, I’m making lists of things I must do before going home (eat shashlyk, finish season 7 of The West Wing, go to the banya, watch a Russian movie in the theatre, be Fidel Castro for Halloween, etc.), but I’m also just trying to enjoy the time I have left with my friends here. Packing and planning my trip home are just secondary projects. I have my Russian visa and plane tickets so I’m not too worried.

I’ve also been in contact with Sidd, my Kaz-21 replacement, who is eager to continue where I’m leaving off. The overall effect of my retrospection is a sense of satisfaction with my time here and optimism for the future. I doubt I will write again until I get home, but I do plan to look back at my previous entries and try to sum up the cumulative impact of two years spent in Kazakhstan. Maybe I’ll find some good listeners to help me sort through the noise.